Reflections of 2009

Persevere to climb til the top even when our strength fails, He will sustain for He is STRONG

As I gaze into the mirage of 2009, I see love, joy, peace, sweetness, sorrow, sadness, bitterness, disappointments and betrayal. It was a much tougher year than the rest. Albeit these mixture of experiences, I am grateful to the One who gave me this breath of life. The joys and the sorrows that He has given made me who I am today.

Looking back at my past, I see His loving hands which ALWAYS lifted me up when I fall, and His neverfailing love which guides me when I falter. Without my Saviour, I would not have survive through the darkest winter season in my life. The New Year is here. My plea is to forget my past, the failures and even the successes all because when I focus on my failures, I will not be able to get up and run this race. And you ask, why should I forget all the victory that I have gain? I tell you, if I were to magnify those victories only, I will be reluctant to move on, clinging onto those little successes.

When the world around you turns cold, run into His outstretched arms for it is in His arms that I find warmth

What Paul in the bible said is indeed true, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Don't just look at the torns along the way, focus on the blue skies and bright shining sun to move on

In this New Year, I pray that I will obey what He has planned for me. And the resolutions I make will not be just another piece of paper but will be to fulfil them according to His time and His will. I cannot see the infinite future but by faith I take the first step into this new day with a new hope of a beautiful year. With new wine and anointing oil, may He sustain me throughout.

Have a Blessed year in 2010.

This song entitled 'If I could sing' is written by a lady who is mute. Born with deformity and had cerebral palsy, she gave thanks. A talented person indeed who's blessed with wisdom and a gift in drawing.
She still yearns to sing praises to God despite her disability. It greatly encourages me as she is still so thankful after so much harships she has faced. In a 'talk' given by her, with much struggle using her deformed hands she wrote that she does not look at things she does not have but rather looking at the things she has been given. She still has a Father who loves her so much. How optimistic!
So, let us all who can sing, praise Him always.

I want to count my blessings and be grateful for ALL things.

Differences?

On a side note, I've faced some more trials over here. It was quietly clinging on to my shirt and flew over to Glasgow as well. When I saw it coming, I said, Hey!! I thought I've left you back at home? What are you doing here? I do not know how to face it. This is the time when I see my weaknesses surface from deep within. Those judgemental eyes staring back at me, I truly am afraid.

I don't want to be consumed by self-pityness, I don't want to hear those confusing voices around me, I just want to listen to my sheperd's voice, that still small voice. Do pray for me and that I will not be affected by people, but will be His light and salt in this place. I will remember each of you in prayer.

Though all of us are far apart, we still have ONE God who unites us together in Christ

Two weeks in Glasgow and counting :)

The month of September, a whole new chapter. I should lay aside what is behind me already and looooook ahead! :)


I shall blog a lil before I get too caught up with studies.

Reporting for duty. I'm here, in Glasgow! I know it's a tad bit late, sorry. but better late than never rite? hee.


Honestly, it was sad to leave behind loved ones and friends. Many were telling me to be strong and not miss home too much. If you have known me well enough, you should have heard the story when I first came to KL for pre-U. It was one memorable experience. ;) haha. Surprisingly, God gave me that power to overcome my homesickness. I can't answer you how, but I know that He's here with me. :)

First up, the weather here is pretty cold especially when there's wind blowing constantly with showers on certain days of the week. We were shocked to hear that it has been like that all summer. haha. Praying that I can adapt to the weather soon.

Lots of walking around here. To get to a destination, we just have to walk no matter how tired your feet are. It is necessary to train myself physically and never to forget, spiritually as well :) The scenaries are so beauuuuutiful over here and it's very different from home.

Lectures have started and I'm slightly off from my revision schedule. eeks. But the lecturers here are mostly nice and friendly. The way they teach makes me understand the subject way better provided that I have enough rest the night before. :P Some of the seniors were kind enough to give us pep talk about what we should expect for this academic year.

So, hopefully I’ll be able to cope with everything here. :)

Akekho Ofana No Jesu!

Growing Up

The sharp edges of life have taught me many valuable lessons. 3 years in KL wasn't always a very smooth sailing one. But I do appreciate the situations I've been placed in. If it has not been so, I would still be the same person as I have been the very day I left home.

I have learnt to see things in different perspective, not just as it is. I grew. Not sideways but inwardly but still not enough. Being away from my comfort zone made growing up much harder and more challenging. If I want to grow up, I would just have to be more flexible, like a rubberband perhaps or like clay. Hehe. Or else I'll be stuck at that caterpillar stage :)

Even a short one and half years in uni has changed me. It was another phase in life where I saw how different people can be like when you get to know them. These days, I laughed at how innocent I was; thinking that life was just as simple as ABC. But the process of growing doesn't just end here. It's lifelong and there is much more for me to grasp.

Even during holidays I faced bumpy roads when my emotions became too overwhelming for me to comprehend. God has been gracious to me indeed. He comforts just at the right time and never for once left me. I don't want to be in this pit anymore. It serves no purpose crying over spilt milk. The caterpillar in the cocoon hopes to mature into a butterfly one day. Endurance is the key.

He is my refuge and ever present help in trouble.

The story of Joseph

I've always admired one of the great man in the Bible, Joseph, a true example of Christ. Being sold to Egypt by his brothers at a young age, he did not blame them. Despite all the hardships they put him in, he still chose to forgive them. He was a successful man because God was with him. He stood firm even when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him. When he was thrown into prison for an act which he did not commit, he did not murmur to God and the Lord still blessed him. Although he could not see what was God's plan when situations seem to be against him, he still trusted. In the end, his life was truly blessed by God. Amazing, isn't it? =)

I once told a friend that I wanted to be like Joseph, ever so faithful to God, not questioning God about why this and why that and have a big heart towards everyone. God heard what I said and started to get things right in my life. Drawing closer to God doesn't happen by just snapping our fingers. It takes obedience, submission and humbleness. Step by step. Until today, I still cannot see the reason why God brought me through these mountains and valleys, but I know that when my life is in Him, I need not worry and I will no longer be the same old me.

Letting go

See that knot there? It has been in me for quite awhile. Making me feel rather uneasy. When Satan shoots arrows of horrid things into my mind, the knot tightens, making it harder to untangle. Many many times I've tried to loosen it by myself, I screwed up, causing more and more knots to form. I came to a point where I am so tired of untying knots and know that I have to submit to God's timing or else my efforts will be futile.

Recently, I've taken the step, with God's direction to untie this knot of bitterness and unforgiveness. I must face the truth, get up, brush off the dust from my garments and say I'm going on, right on. It has been hard to untie the knot in my heart and even after untying, the rope tried to bend backwards towards its old position. Like the rope, I got used to the knot in my heart. Reluctant at first to do anything about it. However, it surely feels much better after the process. I know it takes a long time for things to smoothen out because truthfully, it still saddens me. But it's getting better day by day like a wound being healed and it's a lesson to improve myself in whatever areas I am weak in. Slowly but surely things would get better.

you know what, this has been the best birthday gift I've gotten from God. Hee. I love you heavenly Daddy! :)

Though the fig tree does not blossom, yet I will still rejoice in the Lord - Habakkuk 3